Desiderate
by keltieful
Summary: It's been five years since Spock left Jim on Tarsus IV. Set after my story 'Wish'. Spirk.


**This is a continuation of my story Wish. It could be a stand alone however, I must warn you, Wish is better written. I'd read it.**

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Jim placed his hands in his lap. He sat, staring at the wall, for a total of five minutes before he was fidgeting again. It was useless. Here he was, the human with ADHD, sitting in a cramped transport station and trying to be still. For the past two hours, he'd been squashed between a guy who looked like he hadn't showered in at least a month and a lady who sounded like she was about to keel over.

It was just typical Kirkian luck that the ship had been delayed. By two hours, fifteen minutes and thirty three seconds. But who was counting? Other than the Vulcan in Jim's head. Whom he couldn't really communicate with, per say. Jim just knew it had been two hours, sixteen minutes and forty eight seconds without looking at a clock. Who needed clocks when you had a Vulcan bondmate you hadn't seen in five years -five years, seven hours, twenty two minutes and six seconds- without a single comm?

Jim bit his lip and belatedly noticed the shaking of his right leg. Great. A nervous twitch. Just what he needed to develop when Spock was so close he could feel the tendrils of awareness uncurling in his skull. At least Spock already knew he was weird. Even the Vulcan had been able to tell Jim was odd. And Spock hadn't been the best with Humans.

From the moment Jim had first heard about Vulcans, from Amanda when she introduced her son, he'd been fascinated by them. Of course, they were a founding Federation species. Which was kind of cool in its own right. Not many could out logic a Vulcan. Just about nothing phased them. They seemed like an immovable force. And then there was Spock. Who was kind and curious and just so sweet. The smartest person Jim had ever met and possibly the dorkiest.

He chuckled to himself as his mind conjured the dark eyed teen. Despite the three year age gap, Spock hadn't been that much taller than himself, his ears were too big for his head, his bowl cut just looked ridiculous. And yet, there was a boy, a sixteen year old who could snap your neck without effort. He was strong and fast and adapted to any situation with remarkable swiftness. And gods, every time he spoke, Jim had to suppress a shudder. He was a teenager. Freshly pumped with enough hormones to make anyone go a little mad and dumped on a planet with four people his own age. Thirty people who were old enough to attend high school. Not too much to choose from. And no one else had a voice like that. All deep and smooth and his _accent_. Vulcan was kind of lyrical. Full of slight hisses and purrs which couldn't be fully mimicked by Human vocal chords. And when Spock added them to Standard… watch out ladies and gents.

It was a voice Jim missed. Which led him back to thinking about why Spock hadn't talked to him since the day he gotten into a shuttle and left. Amanda, even Sarek, had spoken to him. Amanda made a point to call every Saturday evening at seven o'clock. Never any earlier. Never any later. To keep him updated on everything, or so she said. Jim had the sneaking suspicion she just felt sorry for him. She'd said, many a time, that Spock still wanted him. But Jim had done a bit of reading and it didn't really look like it. Not by Human standards and not by Vulcan ones.

T'hy'la, he'd read, stayed together. Were practically inseparable. Their katra's were linked and life was nothing without the other. It was all very romantic and fateful and he wasn't too sure how it sat with him. As a lost teen, being one half of something so much bigger than himself was a dream come true. Spock loved him. He could feel it every time their skin touched. And he'd been accepted by Amanda and Sarek instantly. Spock had marched downstairs, pronounced them t'hy'la and that was that. Sarek nodded, Amanda squealed and Jonathan raised a toast.

Then, only just over a month later, Sarek had gotten a call. The family were packed and out the door two days before Valentine's. Jim had spent the next few months roaming the forest alone and generally ignoring everyone. He'd been shipped back to Earth after that. Spent a few years wondering the Midwest before getting a call from Starfleet.

He hadn't exactly jumped at the chance to join the 'fleet. But Spock had turned down the VSA to study in San Francisco so it couldn't be all bad. So, he'd packed up his belongings and made the trip over.

And, in the fashion of typical Kirkian luck, he missed Spock by two days.

Spock shipped off with Captain Pike for two years. And, by all accounts, was doing brilliantly out in the black. There was talk that when he got back he'd be promoted to Commander. Youngest in the 'fleet.

"Come on Spock, hurry up." Jim muttered. Perhaps he wouldn't go stir crazy if he walked around a bit. There was a cute little café out the front that, from memory, sold real coffee. No doubt Spock would be able to use this bond thing better than he could. He had to know that Jim was waiting.

Jim stood and shook squeezed out of his spot. Just as he turned his back on the Arrivals gate, the hair on the back of his neck began to tingle. He paused and closed his eyes. It could always be nothing.

He turned slowly, chancing one last glance at the doors.

It was just an Andorian.

Jim felt the disappointment pool in his gut. He'd really hoped… It didn't matter. Even when they landed, Spock was likely to be one of the last people off the ship. Maybe he could find a corner and read a book on his PADD while he drank that coffee.

Jim ordered his coffee and chatted to the barista as she made it. She was cute, in a blonde Human sort of way. Her eyes were like honeyed caramel, dark enough to draw him in but too light to drown in. She had a nice laugh and flirted back and made him stop thinking of Spock. If only for a second.

When she handed over his coffee he noticed her number scribbled on the side in neat cursive. It was coupled with a message to call her if he ever needed a chat.

Jim smiled at the gesture as he sat in the booth in the corner. He pulled out his PADD and flipped open his computer sciences textbook. He looked up intermittently. Often enough to watch the Andorian from before walk in and order something.

"Excuse me, are you James Kirk?" Jim looked up and met the Andorian's dark gaze. "I'm Lieutenant Shohl Ch'zhyqer. I work in sciences with Lieutenant-Commander Spock. I was wondering, he'll probably be another two hours or so, did you want to come aboard?"

Jim stared dumbly before a grin spread across his face from ear to ear.

"Captain Pike still up there?" he asked. If he was, no regulation on Earth could keep Jim off that tin can. He had a bone to pick with the man who'd recruited him and then stolen away his bondmate.

"Captain and First Officer are in a last meeting with heads of department." Shohl replied as Jim finished his coffee. The Andorian slowly finished his own beverage, Jim wasn't quite sure what the green liquid was, as he bookmarked his page and packed away his PADD.

Together, they walked around the civilian access and through Starfleet's official entrance. After scanning their ID's, they were free to walk up to the transporter pad and request beam up.

Jim landed on the Farragut in a swirl of blue and white. He flashed a smile to the engineer manning the booth and followed Shohl out into the corridor. There, they headed for the closest turbo lift.

"Deck 3 is officers quarters. Deck 6 mess hall, rec rooms and gym. Deck 2 is where Captain Pike and Spock will be." Shohl turned and looked at Jim. "I can drop you off at his room but you'd have to wait for him there. Would you rather a tour of the ship?"

Jim thought it over. He and Scotty had looked over the Farragut's design enough for him to know his way around.

"Spock's room it is." Jim grinned and pushed the button for Deck 3. In seconds they were stepping out and heading down another white corridor. They passed few officers, most having shuttled off the ship already.

"Here we are." Shohl shuffled a little. "Are you sure you want to wait here? My room's just down the hall, I can leave to door unlocked-"

Jim walked forward and put down his bag. He placed his fingers against the keypad and began to tap code after code into the machine. Overriding the door shouldn't be too hard. Presuming it worked on the same system as the Academy. The lights changed from red to green and the door slid open with a hiss. Hot air spilled into the hall.

"Thanks Shohl. I'll be fine." Jim grabbed his bag and shot the Andorian a messy salute.

"Spock sure has his hands full with that one." Shohl muttered as he turned and headed further down the hall. Probably to get his own things off the ship.

Jim let the door slide closed behind him. Spock had clearly set the controls to Vulcan standards. Jim was sweating already.

"Computer, lower temperature five degrees." Jim spoke. Immediately the room began to cool to a more Human friendly temperature. How Amanda could stand living on Vulcan was beyond Jim. No wonder she enjoyed Tarsus so much.

Jim walked around the room. He let his fingers trace over the desk, the assortment of PADDs, even the two boxes stacked in the corner. He walked around a partition and into the sleeping area. Spock's bed was stripped. There was a plain black 'fleet issue bag resting innocuously on the plain mattress. The only personal touch left in the room was the meditation mat and stone incense pot. It was the same one he'd had on Tarsus.

Jim sat on the bed and stared at the ancient Vulcan god of Death. Shariel had always given him the creeps. Vulcans may not necessarily believe in their gods but there was power in that statuette.

Jim let himself fall back and closed his eyes. He'd just finished his exams and probably hadn't slept properly for at least a week. His limbs felt heavy. And the room smelt of Spock. His eyes slid closed and stayed there. Gradually, Jim's breathing deepened until he was asleep.

* * *

When Jim woke he was being carried down a brightly lit hall. The rocking motion was soothing. As was the deep voice talking to someone he couldn't see. For a moment, Jim felt like a kid again. Then he realised where he was.

How embarrassing. Spock must have come back while he was asleep.

Through barely open eyes, Jim watched as the ceiling changed. The room opened up at least a deck above them. The shuttle bay then. Spock would have to put him down when they were inside. Hopefully the two other people walking with them decided not to sit too close. Jim had been looking forward to actually talking to Spock again. The anxiety from earlier returned with the thought. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to have with other people nearby. Especially since it looked like it'd be an emotional one.

Spock walked through the door to what seemed like the last shuttle in the hanger. How long had he been asleep?

"Three hours and forty five minutes, twenty six seconds." Spock said as he placed him on one of the seats. "Number One and Captain Pike believe you to be, cute."

Just as Jim opened his eyes, Spock turned his back to store his bag and boxes under the empty chairs beside him.

He was taller than Jim remembered. His blue science shirt fit snugly across broad shoulders. Jim watched the muscles in his back and arms flex as he rearranged his belongings. Blue eyes caught sight of pointed ears. For some reason he just wanted to run his fingers over them.

Spock stood and turned with a grace Jim could never possess. He looked up at his t'hy'la, eyes roving over the familiar face. He'd really grown into himself. All sharp angles and soft contours. There was silence for a moment before Spock leaned down and kissed Jim's temple. The bond roared to life at the contact. Jim let the stress fall from his shoulders.

He could feel Spock's love. The happiness when he felt Jim. The affection when he found him asleep. The possessiveness when Number One and Pike saw him at his most vulnerable.

"I have missed you, ashayam." Spock stroked two fingers over Jim's lips.

Starved for affection as he was, Jim leaned into the touch. He'd waited for Spock for so long. Now he just never wanted to be parted again.

Spock sat and pulled Jim into his lap.

"Of course, t'hy'la." he murmured before kissing Jim breathless.

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 **Sometimes, when I write, it's like everything I plan doesn't happen. Ah well. That's four of twenty nine down. :D**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or make money off this.**


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